Depression Does Not Disqualify Us

I just finished reading Through Gates of Splendor by Elizabeth Elliot. I found myself drawn to one of the missionaries. Not as well known as Nate Saint or Jim Elliot. Roger Youderian found his greatest hope and inspiration in searching through scripture, yet had not learned the full power of prayer. Something I can relate to. It is written of Roger that he was a soldier of Christ, a man capable of great effort, trained and disciplined. He believed that obedience is not a momentary option but a diecast decision. Everything that made him a good soldier had been consecrated to Christ. 

Roger was asked to join the team after the group had already made contact with the Aucas. Roger agreed immediately to join them. Though at that time, he was struggling with deep spiritual depression. He questioned whether he was accomplishing anything at all. To this point he had not seen any fruit of his labors. He was ready to quit and return to the U.S. He believed he failed and accepted all the blame. He had not lost his faith. It seems he just lost his ability or usefulness. He would be joining them in body if not in spirit.

The events of January 8, 1956, shocked the world. Five missionaries being speared to death. Roger was killed never having seen the fruit of his death. The hundreds of young adults inspired to become missionaries, the salvation and redemption of the Aucas. The story about this particular missionary inspired me. Knowing full well the effect depression can have on an individual. It is there like a heavy blanket, affecting you spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. Most of the time, you carry on, in body if not spirit. It is always there like a shadow, following you. Sometimes long and thin, barely noticeable. Sometimes surrounding and covering you. Roger Youderian carried that great heavy weight, but God still used him. God still uses us regardless of the baggage we carry. God does not wait for us to be fit mentally, emotionally, spiritually or physically.  You do not have to wait to be in a “good place.” I do not have to wait until that heavy blanket is removed to be used by God. God uses the weak to shame the strong, 1 Corinthians 1:27. God will take you in any state and use you for His good and mighty will.