Twas the Night...

I just came across this poem I wrote for my coworkers entertainment. To my recollection, this is all true with no embellishment. This is actually the second one I wrote. There was one from the year before but I have not come across it yet. It was on Facebook but I wanted a copy for whenever I wise up and get off that toxic wasteland. Enjoy.

 

Twas the night before Christmas when all through the zoo, 
Second shift was two above minimum with nothing to do.

Dinner was served, all got a lunch bag,

Holding was empty and so was the Seg.

With Sarge on vacation and Griffin OIC,

We just kicked back and enjoyed each other's company.

But then the phone range just as I kicked up my boot,

The called ID said that the caller was “Loot.”

He asked who was in charge and I looked at Stan,

He shook his head no because he knew it was bad.

Lieutenant said we had 2 pickups, one at the House and one at Dane,

You got to send two and send them right away.

The crap ran down hill to the last two in line,

They had to go now because he won’t sign overtime.

Sanders and Hermann went down to their lockers,

And I thought I heard someone say something about a focker?

We were back to minimum and that was okay,

Until the second call came, that ruined our day.

Just after our guys had finally went out,

The Transport Team called and said “Twelve 10-80 enroute”

I wondered, did he say, TWELVE in all?

Those dame 1st shift, forgot to tell us at roll call.

4 ICE were returning and 8 new to be booked,

They all needed feeding, best get something cooked.

We waited for the Team, it no longer was fun,

Then to our surprise Dispatch asked, “you got an 81?”

Saukville is 76, 10-55, and oh…

They’ll need help, the drunk kicked out the window.

Our night was getting worse for our men

When I head over the radio, “10-10 Tier 10!”

We bolted down the fall, keys jingling loose, 

We sounded like Saint Nick with a herd of moose.

It was over the TV, the usual crap,

One didn’t know spanish, the other didn’t like rap.

We broke up the fight and escorted them to Tier 5,

Tier 6 was INOP because of an attempted suicide.

Hubers were piled up and 10-80s in the sallyport,

A reporter was in the lobby and an alarm up in court.

ICE inmates arrived and same as last year, 

Meds and more meds, just as I feared.

Prisoners were booked and inmates changed over,

The drunk slept in Holding until he was sober.

The printer got jammed, the Livescan went down,

We can’t verify meds because no nurse was in town.

Everyone was busy, really just a typical night,

But we did our job, mostly out of spite.

Finally things began to slow down.

Sanders and Hermann returned, safe and sound.

Third shift rolled in, with no more transports enroute.

All they wanted to know was the garbage out?

We did our last deed and filled the dumpster up.

We agreed that Christmas eve, once again, did suck.