Nothing Needed

They other morning I woke up in a bad mood. I had realized that there was no coffee in the house and I was prepared for a crap day. Coincidentally, I had a counseling appointment. I met with my counselor. 

He asked me what I was hearing from God. I told him that I didn’t want to hear from God. That I would prefer He left me alone. That when I was down, He usually asks me to do something, minister to someone else and I do not have the energy for this. He told me to ask God about what any lies I was believing. I got nothing from God. We talked some more. He then suggested I ask God to just talk to me and show me something. I closed my eyes and tried to listen. 

Where I attend counseling, there are continuous water sounds played on speakers throughout the building. I listened to the sound of waves crashing onto shore. I got a picture on standing on the wet sand and as each wave hit, my feet would be covered more with wet sand. I started to walk along the beach, watching the waves, the long grass sway, the pieces of driftwood… Then I received a memory. I do not remember the details. What I do remember was we were back in Wisconsin, when Shawn was living with us. He was going through a hard time. We were on the beach of Lake Michigan. It was starting to get dark and he wanted to stay longer. I went around and gathered wood and built him a fire. I stay for a little bit and then left. 

My counselor asked me if in that time, I was a good father. I thought about it and said yes. He asked if I required anything of Shawn. I said no, I did not. He then asked if God was a good father and I said yes. Does God require anything of me right now. The answer was no. God knew where I was, the state in which I was. He did not need me to put out anyone else’s fires for him. Just get through the day, do not make any major decisions, let Him minister to me. 

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18)

Now I try to picture the Father and I sitting on beach, watching the waves come in. He gets up to build me a fire, to comfort my spirit and soothe my soul. There will be times when He will want me to minister to someone. Not now, maybe later today.

Trouble and anguish have found me out, but your commandments are my delight. (Psalm 119:143)

Now to get some coffee.