From Jean

My first week here was too good to be true and that should have tipped me off. I had little to no jetlag while Chas suffered from unending exhaustion. I loved everything about here: the smell, the people, the language. I should have known it was a honeymoon of sorts. I had waited years to get here, literally. Being here was good and I was glad for it.

Then I got sick, then the team left for their annual week away, then Chas got sick.... and I was alone longer than suits me. God used this to dig out some ugliness in me that needed attending to and may not have surfaced any other way. I am so grateful for his continued, unrelenting prodding. I am so grateful for his unending faithfulness and patience with me. He continues to speak and I pray I will always listen.

While Chas and I were hanging out after church last week, God showed me something powerful. He was watching Capt America - it had just started - and I was trying to ignore it by playing on my tablet. I have learned to identify a specific feeling with the Holy Spirit trying to get my attention or wanting to tell me something. I felt this as we were sitting here and I thought "I should go get my bible so I will hear better" the Spirit said "No, pay attention". I look up as they are about to inject Cap'n with the chemicals and then they put him in that tank and infuse him. As he was glowing and screaming and they are about to shut it down, then he yells "No, I can take it" and they continue. God showed me that is what he is doing with us. We are at the point of choosing to stop what he is doing because it hurts too much or is too scary or we can take courage from him and go forward. So many days I just want to be home and wrapping my family in my arms. Ignore his directions and just be with all of them. I am immediately put in mind of the possible cost of doing that. What would I be teaching my sons and others: do what your flesh wants, avoid the pain, don't follow God's will and plan. That thought hurts so much worse than what we are going through here and apart from my hearts.

I love the people I get to work with and come to know. It is a blessing to get closer to the team members we already knew of and the Mongolians whom I had only heard their names. Watching 6-8 men, mostly Mongolian carry this awkward beast of a roasting machine up 4 flights of stairs was stunning! Also to see so many Mongolians pass "my observation test", LOL was great! In the states when you sit on a roof you quickly see how few Americans observe anything. It's a wonder more don't die from falling debris. Over 60% of the Mongolians looked up at me, sitting quietly in the 2nd floor window taking pictures of the group moving the roaster. Very impressive. I love the way they giggle when I say a Mongolian word they taught me correctly. I love how protective they are of us when they take us shopping. It is good to be here. Tuesday I will get to do an outreach in the redlight area. For those that know me, you know how much this means to me. I'm bringing them cupcakes, it will be a good night. -Jean